The Eve of Today...

I am staring at the Free Masons’ Hall in Hamilton, Bermuda from the window of what is probably one of the best coffee houses I’ve ever frequented. Completely hungover.

One of these days, I’m going to go in there. If they’ll let me, that is. Which, is highly unlikely, since I’m neither a male nor prejudiced. But, what an adventure it could be…

Speaking of adventures-I’m in Bermuda. I live half of my life here. A life that consists of constant shenanigans and escapades of drunken schemes.

Take, for instance, last night. I went to the gym, back to my room for a shower, and headed up to join the usual crew for a couple of vodies (vodkas for those of you who don’t speak with an English dialect). After a few jokes and not so few smokes, we headed out to the infamous ‘Snorkel Park’, a magical place filled with tackily dressed, aggressive fellow drunkards drinking and dancing to the beat of what is the most redundant and annoying music the dj has to offer. We drank the bar out of vodka, thus we were forced to switch to rum, which thereby incapacitated our collective consciousness beyond repair.

When they finally turned on the lights and kicked us out, it was after three. Logically, we began walking back, but we were met by what looked like an after hours hippie picnic under a tree off the side of the narrow road. We chatted and hung for a bit, then decided to carry on homeward bound.

Of course, I would be remiss in my duties of recounting last night’s events if I neglected to tell what happened next. For the following forty or so minutes, some of us decided to plunge themselves into the harbor no less than three dozen times. It was hilarious, ridiculous and an unforgettable way to top off the evening. And, the evening was quite the top off to the day that preceded it. All you need to know about the day’s events is that before I would go to sleep that evening, I watched three hours of Three Stooges, Ghostbusters and consumed a total of six liters of water and five BLTs.

So, basically, a typical Monday.