my brother called me this morning at 9.  it made my day.  

then my cousin called me at half 9.  icing on the cake.

me, phil and anthony (or as i call him, antwan) are going to see kids in the hall next week.  it's gonna be awesome.  

goddamn this weather.  i used to love it.  right now it's just depressing.  supposedly tomorrow will be nice.  who knows?  

just trying real hard to get back in the swing of things.  this summer is going to be great.  it has to be.  first of all, flock of seagulls is playing basically at my apartment.  secondly, joel and i are going to start working together on the show.  and, i hope adrienne can work with us again.  it was the best show i've ever done.  definitely the most fun.  and, the most rewarding.  and the riskiest.  

i'm so anxious.  i never get anxious.  stop it.  ok, i will.  silly emotions.  they aren't the boss of me.  nobody is.  speaking of nobody...

i got my bike all ready for the summer.  how sweet is that?  fairly sweet.  whoops.  that was a rhetorical question.  like, how are you?  or, who drank the last of the eggnog?  i'm fine; i just finished that gallon of eggnog, thanks.  damnit.  i did it again.

see?  crazy.  one time, i remember, the shit just hit the fan when i was working like 3 or 4 jobs last year, and i flipped out at this restaurant job that wouldn't let me quit for months.  i was crying and hyperventilating in the dining room and the kitchen and the whole place was like, what did we do, we're sorry.  it was major.  i ended up making some sweet tips because of the nervous breakdown i had publicly, which was utterly humiliating, by the way.  so, not really something you should willingly pull to gain piteous prosperity.  

the next morning, i had to work at starbucks, and i felt like a new person.  even though i was still broke, exhausted and working for no money, my head was clear and i was energized.  this awesome customer, dana, came up to me and said hi.  he's a writer for a couple papers, super interesting guy.  i gave him a free coffee, and i was super happy, singing and laughing.  he said, what happened to you?  you're glowing!  and, i told him the story about how just the night before i had a nervous breakdown.  he smiled.  and he said, you didn't have a nervous breakdown.  you had a nervous breakthrough.  which took me to an even higher level of clarity.